Yes, most of the times I am. Making art is so complicated process starting far beyond that moment when I am taking the canvas and make first stroke or line. Many times the moment to start a new painting is such a torture; I almost feel a physical pain. Especially, if it is a long gap at work. When it happened, the break in work, it takes me a long time to get back in the state when I can even touch my pallet knife or brushes. Some artists call it a fear of the white sheet. You never know what you will create, how much pain and happiness you will gain making this work. And how much satisfaction or frustration it will bring. Some of my friends, not artists, said to me that it is probably such a fun to make painting. Yea, it is a fun in a way, but first of all it is a work, fighting, love, excitement, frustration, uncertainty, happiness, and another thousand emotions and feelings blended together. But I do it because I can not NOT doing it. Like one of my closest artist friend says – it is a heavy cross that we have a privilege to carry.